Life as I know it

Puppy pics

2008-02-20T14:30:00.001-08:00

The same issue again

2008-02-19T13:13:00.000-08:00

My mom/parents. I've gotten so much better, but darn it still hurts. I talked to her after not calling her for about 3 weeks, proceeded to tell her about the new puppy and all she can tell me about is that her cat has one milky eye, and that they already have taken her to 3 vets to get the best special treatment. Hmmm, you are the same person that didn't even call me last year when I was in the hospital? Eventhough you were at my home watching my kids. Ok, so I got it that I rank lower on the priority list than the cat.

I also don't remember a birthday present. And my christmas present was a stupid movie that SHE would have liked. Issues, issues, issues....and you wonder why I don't call?

Tueday Ten: Random Thoughts In My Head Today

2008-02-12T11:11:00.000-08:00

1. Taxes. We are doing our taxes today and I'm waiting anxiously to hear about it. We need some money back.

2. Work: One of my co-workers is leaving to work for the CIA in Virginia as a legal secretary. How cool is that?

3. We have a wedding to go to on Saturday and I have no clue about a gift.

4. My mother called Paul yesterday and she asked him what was wrong. ARGHHH....! She actually suggested that she might see a psychiatrist. Yeah right, when hell freezes over.

5. Paul has a job application going that I really hope will work out. It would be so much better for him.

6. I need to stop at Target and finish getting stuff for the kids for Valentine's to give out at school.

7. We are getting another puppy in a few weeks, I can't wait. And it's a Pitbull puppy. He is 4 weeks old right now. And yes, I know how many people feel about Pitbulls, but I don't agree and neither does Paul. And he knows a little about dogs. LOL. When raised in the right environment they are great family dogs.

8. I really don't want my parents to come again this year. Now I just need to find a way to tell them that.

9. I'm hot, I wish it was raining again, but nooooo....it's sunny and mild.

10. I need to find out when Sidney's next football game is tonite, I hope it's not this Saturday.

odds and ends

2008-02-01T09:47:00.000-08:00

I really don't know who to vote for this year and it's bugging me. I'm a registered republican but don't really like an of the candidates. After hearing Obama on illegal immigrants, I can't vote for him either living here in southern California since it's a huge problem here. And I simply cannot stand Hillary. So there........I'm stuck.

I finished the new Stephen King book "Duma Key" and have to say I actually liked it. It's been a hit and miss with his books lately, some I didn't like at all, but this one was good.

We are still dealing with homework problems with Brenna, she just has better things to do than actually do her homework. Oh god give me patience....RIGHT NOW!!!!

Belated Tuesday Ten: BOOKS - the ones I plan on reading or just read

2008-01-23T11:35:00.000-08:00

1 .. THE MIDDLE PLACE - Kelly Corrigan- I bought it Friday, it's waiting...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1401303366/ref=sib_dp_pt/105-2205729-4570066#reader-link

2. HER LAST DEATH - Susannah Sonnenberg - waiting for me...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/0743291085/ref=dp_image_0/105-2205729-4570066?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books

3. THE HIDDEN DIARY OF MARY ANTOINETTE - Carrolly Erickson - started it, it's really fascinating

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0312337086/ref=sib_dp_pt/105-2205729-4570066#reader-link

4. DANIEL'S VEIL - R.H. Stavis - very interesting book, enjoyed it

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/0974363960/sr=1-1/qid=1201117673/ref=dp_image_0/105-2205729-4570066?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books&qid=1201117673&sr=1-1

5. DUMA KEY - Stephen King - this is on my list

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/1416552510/ref=dp_image_0/105-2205729-4570066?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books

The aftermath

2008-01-21T16:04:00.000-08:00

after my birthday that is. This had to be one of the shittiest birthdays in history. I actually left Friday early to go to a Dr.'s appt., which of coures ran late. Then I was on my way to Barnes & Nobles to spent my birthday gift certificate when I got into an accident. It's just my bumper and right light, but god what an inconvenience. Fine, went and got my books and went home.

Next day (my actual birthday) I'm cooking dinner when a pipe burst under the kitchen sink. It was 7:30 pm, of course we had to call a plummer and it took til almost 9 to get it fixed, and $200. Whatever......

The Sunday was somewhat better since we went to a really nice champagne brunch, crab legs, mussels, salmon, primerib....the works......ahhhhhhhh....much better.

Now back to " I really need to lose weight since my fat clothes are getting tight".

Random thoughts

2008-01-16T11:55:00.000-08:00

Ok, it's time, I've had it with my weight. Once again....

I'm uncomfortable and even my fat clothes are getting tight. I've known for quite a while, but was in denial. LOL. Food just tastes too good, especially all the bad stuff. So now I'm back again to cutting out carbs and basically just eating meat, eggs, veggies and salad. AND I really need to start some stomach exercises. My 41 birthday is coming up on Saturday and let's just face it, 3 kids later my stomach is definately visible.LOLOL. The c-sections certainly didn't help either. I need to dig out my Pilates tapes that actually target the stomach.

What else? Sidney started her music lessons at school, so every Thursday we are dealing with this:

It's bigger than she is, and luckily I have a big car to haul this around in. It's quite interesting. The other day she was practicing and of course hubby had to try it. OMG...the noise these two could produce on this thing. It's painful. LOLOL.

Ten Things Worth Every Penny

2008-01-15T09:26:00.000-08:00

1. My microwave. What would I do without it. About a month ago our microwave died. So I went for a couple of days without one. Oh the horror. It was a whole new experience for the kids that you can actually heat food up on the stove.

2. My Ugg boots. Ok, it's selfish, but they are oh so comfy.

3. Books, any book....I love books. LOL

4. My MAC lipstick. It actually stays on for hours even through eating and drinking.

5. Britax carseats. Yes, they are expensive, but so worth it. Mackie is still in a 5 point harness that goes up to 80 lbs.

6. My cell phone. What did I ever do without it???? LOLOL

7. My kids. They are really expensive, but how can I put a price on such lovely chaos?

8. The internet.

9. My new bed. It's so nice to finally sleep on a good nice mattress.

10. "Absolut Peach"

My love affair with food

2008-01-10T14:34:00.000-08:00

Along the lines of new years resolutions.
I really don't want to make any, but I wish I could control my weight. It seems that I just can't seem to get the hang of it. I either eat too much, or I'm on a diet. Why is this so difficult? One thing is that I really really like food. LOL. So why can't they come up with icecream or other goodies that that don't have any calories. And yes, I know, I'm an emotional eater. Other people can't eat when they have problems....I eat MORE. I wish I would lose my appetite every once in a while, but it's rare. I need to snap out of it. The other hated word is "exercise". I know I should be doing something, I just can't get motivated. Even just walking would be good.

Thursday Ten...Things I don't like about christmas/December

2007-12-13T15:30:00.000-08:00

1. Sidney was born on the 23rd of December, it really kind of sucks to have her birthday that close to christmas. She is always already on vacation. By the way....she was due January 14.LOL

2. School, teacher gifts.

3. School, christmas plays and songs during the day. Have they ever heard of working parents?

4. I'm getting tired already of christmas music.

5. Everybody seems to be in a bad mood, it must be a holiday thing.

6. I'm not even close to have my christmas shopping done.

7. Christmas is way to commercialized for my taste.

8. Whatever happened to Peace on Earth?????

9. I gain weight. I just can't help it.

10. I can't get into the christmas spirit at all this year.

ME

2007-12-04T12:08:00.000-08:00

Yes, this one is all about me for a change. Well, maybe not all of it. LOL. I'm really glad that this week I actually seem to be getting back to normal. Meaning, it seems my brain is functioning again. Last week was absolutely horrible. I had a lovely panic attack last Tuesday morning and didn't even make it to work. I just felt so bad about myself, as a mother, wife, worker...just in general. It didn't help that there was a change at work for me. So I basically only made it through the week on meds. I hate doing that, I actually despise it, but I really didn't want to be sitting at work and hyperventilating. I went to see my doctor on Friday morning (yes, a psych doctor) and I didn't get new meds, but just a new perspective I guess.

So last weekend was actually pretty nice, we had really nothing going on and I got to catch up on laundry and housework, hang out with the girls in front of the TV to watch a bunch of episodes of the witches ("Charmed") which they love. And I have to admit I like it too. I got to crochet a bit, and actually said NO to people coming over on Saturday. Woohoo.

This week seems much better, I have a much better outlook so far (keep your fingers crossed), I'm actually wearing heels, a skirt and make up today. Also the change at work seems to be turning out for the better, I get to leave at 5 right on the dot, and I'm home by 5:30. Love it. I really need to remind myself to not want to take on the world. I can't do everything, even if I try. I should not feel guilty about wanting an hour to myself to read in peace in quiet or watch a TV show without being interrupted 10 million times.

And I don't feel bad that I actually gave the kids cans of Ravioli for dinner instead of a healthy homecooked meal. (OK, that doesn't really happen too much)

My wish for christmas is to get a good attitude towards my surroundings and my family and to be able to get a couple of hours of "ME" time.

Tuesday Ten: What I am thankful for.

2007-11-20T11:37:00.000-08:00

1. My kids. They brighten my life (usually....lolol)

2. My husband. Yes, eventhough he can be a mayor PITA, I know he'll be there for me and the kids when I need him.

3. Having finally the guts to tell my mother off. (It didn't get anywhere like usual, because she denies everything, but at least I got it out.)

4. My house. Eventhough it's small, it's ours.

5. Being able to not have to worry about where my next meal is coming from.

6. Online friends. It's a great outlet and has saved me many times.

7. Having 4 days off, being able to cook thanksgiving dinner and enjoy it for the next few days.

8. My physical therapist. My left hand function is pretty much back to normal.

9. A glass of good wine. It just makes an evening so much more relaxing.

10. Our health. Yes, we all have stuff going on. (I swear the day I turned 40 my body decided to fall apart and work against me) But overall we don't have anything seriously wrong with any of us.

Soccer is done

2007-11-19T09:52:00.001-08:00

whewww, soccer season is over for us. I'm kind of happy and sad at the same time. Sidney had a play off game on Saturday but they lost, so they are out. They were really unlucky, it wasn't that the other team was so much better, they were just luckier. I felt bad for our team because they deserved to win. So we even had a few tears shed after game.

Brenna had her last game Saturday and I was really disappointed with her coach this year. Coaches make such a difference. She had a great coach the first 2 years and was rated as one of the best players in her age group, but I don't think that will happen this year. She was very unmotivated and her coach didn't really connect with her. I truly hope she'll get a better coach next year.

Mackie had a great season. I'm sure she will get a high rating. She was really good. I guess having to deal with 2 older sisters really helps. LOLOL. I really liked her coach. And I felt so bad for the family. His wife got diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks into the season. But she was such a trooper, she showed up for most of the games and was always cheery. She even crochet a scarf for me because I refereed a lot of their games and made their hair bands. What a spirit.

Now I actually get my Saturdays back.

Balance

2007-11-09T10:43:00.000-08:00

(Thanks Cat)

This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. Balance in my life. I don't believe I have any. Actually it depends what balance means. My work is fine, I get my kids to school, manage to get them fed, do the homework with them, manage to get them to 3 different soccer games on the weekend, and to remember all the other odds and ends a mom has to remember during the week.

So what am I thinking about? ME. Where does it leave time for me? And yes, it is very easily said that you need to make time for yourself. I just don't seem to be doing a good job with that. I do manage to read for enjoyment almost every day. Usually it's at night right before I go to sleep. Can I blame this one on my mother too? Eventhough I hate to blame her for everything, I do think she is partly to blame. I guess if I had enough self confidence, I would make time for myself? Heck, I don't know. I try to be wonderwoman, but it is not working. Geee...what a surprise.

OK, back to my regular scheduled life. The "poor me" whine is over.

Happy 7th Birthday Brenna!!

2007-11-06T13:39:00.000-08:00

Seven years ago today, I should have known that we were in for a wild ride. I was told by my doctor that the baby had turned around and was now feet down. He also told us that it rarely happened at 37 weeks, but oh well....Brenna did it. LOL.

So we went from a normal birth routine to a "go to the hospital right now" birth via c-section. I have to say that I was stunned, because I did not expect that.

Brenna was born around 8:30 pm, screaming loudly, weighing in at 7 lbs 10 oz eventhough she was 3 weeks early.

It has certainly been a challenging route. She is definately the one that challenges us the most at this point. I truly believe that the traits the drive us crazy right now, will serve her well later on in life.

I truly hope she'll find her niche in life and also remembers that her mom and dad love her very much.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!!!!

Halloween

2007-11-01T09:38:00.001-07:00

So we survived Halloween. The kids had great time. And of course we have way too much candy. But I honestly have to say that I had more fun with Halloween when they were really little. The toddlers are just too cute all dressed up. It's so much fun to watch them.

Look at how cute they were. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Tuesday Ten: My own this time

2007-10-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

Ten reasons why I'm thinking of cutting my parents out of our lives.

1. Mom tried to ruin my wedding day. Up to the last minute we didn't know if my parents were showing up or not. The night before I was told what a big mistake I was making and they probably wouldn't come to the wedding. I had booked an appt. for her with me and my bridesmaids to get our hair and make up done. She didn't show up for that. They finally showed up right on time for pictures. My opinion? They just wanted pictures to show everybody in Germany.

2. It was a nightmare when Sidney was born. She came out, supposedly to help out. Oh my god, in the hospital she threw a fit because she didn't get to hold the baby first. When I got home with Sidney, all she did was badmouth Paul, didn't help me one bit. I almost had a nervous breakdown, and Paul finally threw her out. So she decided to leave in the middle of the night and didn't want to take a taxi, wouldn't have Paul drive her to the airport, so I had to drive her to the airport, 5 days after giving birth, and listening to her all the way to the airport what a slave I am to my husband, and she had no clue how I ended up being this person that mistreated her.

3. Before my grandfather died I flew to Germany to see him one last time. I was really close with my grandparents and knew this would be the last time for me to see him alive. The day before I was flying back I asked my mom to go with my to say good bye to my grandfather. I knew it would be one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. Her response? "No, you have to go alone, I can't deal with that drama."

4. She has told me that the only reason that my grandmother was nice to me was to get back at her because supposedly grandma hated mom so much that she used me to get back at my mother. Whatever.....

5. She continuously twists things around and never takes responsibility for anything.

6. I was told that my kids are brats and we are bad parents.

7. When I was in the hospital 2 weeks ago, they didn't find it necessary to call me. I had my cell phone with me the whole time, nothing. When I got back home I got the "oh so concerned mother speech"

8. When I was pregnant with Mackenzie I told her what name we decided on. She told me she would be too embarrassed to tell anybody that she had a new granddaughter named Mackenzie, since it was such an awful name. So she decided not to tell anybody.

9. The whole time they were here she didn't cook once. Paul and I cooked dinner most of the time. Would it have killed her???????

10. I being told all the time:" When I get old, I don't want to go into home, before I do that I will kill myself with tablets, you have to take care of me."

Ten things I would like to get rid of

2007-10-23T10:20:00.000-07:00

1. My parents. Seriously...they are going back to Germany on Monday. It can't be soon enough. I'm a nervous wreck and need to get back to normal.

2. My washer and dryer. I really really really want new ones. But we just got a new TV, so I guess I'll have to wait a little.

3. whining....I CAN'T TAKE IT.

4. Root beer. Can't take even the smell of it.

5. some pounds. Yes, I 've gained weight again, but man, with my parents here I had to do something fun.LOL

6. my old towels.

7. Mackie's bed, she needs a new bed.

8. my clothes from like 10 years ago. Why do I still have them?

9. stuff under the kids' bed. SCARY

10. Paul's car, I hate that thing, it's a 2000 Dodge Ram.

Is this it?

2007-10-04T10:47:00.001-07:00

Do you ever wonder if this will be your life? .....forever?...........

Is it a strange thought? At this point I'm just continuously on the go, working, scheduling by boss and my family, keeping up with homework and birthday parties, doing laundry and trying to keep the house semi clean. Will it ever be different? I know people keep telling me to enjoy this time while the kids are young, but frankly, I'm not really enjoying it. I enjoy going to soccer games with them, I enjoy snuggling with them and looking at them when they are asleep, but I don't enjoy the mess, the arguing and the homework. I guess it comes witht the territory and the things we enjoy or dislike will just change from period to period.

I wish.................

I could have enough money to buy a ranch somewhere in Montana and enjoy life completely and fully.
I find myself never having enough time to do the things that would be joyful. I seem to run out of time. Oh well............

Friday before the storm

2007-09-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

and no, not the weather kind. My parents are coming into town on Monday. It'll be a very trying period for me. Eventhough I'm 40 years old, it seems like I revert back to the little girl. That's the way she treats me too. Pretty unrespectful and only her opinion counts. It's very hard to maintain a positive attitude around her, but I will try my best.

Three soccer games again tomorrow. Sidney at 8:30, Brenna at 9:30 and Mackie at 2:30. After that I really really have to clean the house. I've been working so much lately that it resembles a pig sty. Not even talking about the millions of loads of laundry I have to do, including sheets and blankets.

Oh yeah, we also found 3 kittens that we have to bottle feed because mom abandoned them. Like we don't have enough animals in the house. LOL

Ilka

I'm BAAAAACKKK!

2007-09-25T11:53:00.001-07:00

Soccer season is back. Here is one of the first pictures with most of Sidney's team and Mackie in the picture.

It's been a while, but my life has been really hectic. I had to get used to a really really busy job which I like, but it took some getting used to.
The girls are doing great. School is back on and Sidney started the Magnet program. If Brenna could only remember to actually bring her homework home we'd be rocking. These are the pictures from the first day of school.

Ramblings

2007-08-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

Busy busy busy

that about sums it up for me right now. New job....which is real busy and and soccer season starting. And being on a diet, which makes me cranky anyway because I love to eat. Not a good combo. LOLOL.

Tidbits

2007-07-18T14:17:00.000-07:00

First the big one: I got a new job, and I start July 30. The commute will be so much easier, no freeway for me anymore, no more downtown...YEAHHHH.

Mackie's party was nice and she had a good time. She got lots of Barbie stuff, one of the things came with a dog that you can feed, and then it poops too. No kidding..LOLOL. It also comes with a pooper scooper Barbie style. The things they come up with now. She requested a chocolate cake ( I have to post a picture later), and it was yummy, it had dark chocolate shavings all over the cake, and a sign made out of white chocolate which said "Happy 5th Birthday Mackie." We saved the sign in the fridge and Mackie got to eat it yesterday. OMG, you should have seen Sidney. She started crying that she didn't get any chocolate. I couldn't believe it. She is 8 years old and acted like a 2 year old. I hate these little dramas. Poor neglected child. LOLOL

Soccer season is about to start again and I signed up to be assistant coach for Sidney's team. Yes, just another thing because I have too much time on my hands. Now I have to attend 3 classes to be able to tell 8 and 9 year olds how to kick a ball.

Let the fun start again with 3 soccer games every Saturday, on 3 different fields, 3 different times. LOLOL. They all have so much fun playing soccer and they are all pretty good at it, but Brenna is extremely good, especially for her age. She basically scored every game, most of them multiple times. She just doesn't get tired and has no problem to take the ball away from somebody else. I guess that's the benefit of the middle child. LOL. She just has more drive than Sidney and Mackie. I hope she can keep it up and sticks with it. At the coaches meeting, the coaches for this year were fighting over who would get her on the team. (Proud mommy here...blush) But we are sticking with her old coach, she's been with him for the past 2 years and he really knows her well and knows how to get her going and have her listen to him. In addition we will have 3 practices during the week, and obviously I have to be at Sidney's practices, I just hope they start around 6, so I won't have a problem getting there on time.

We are finally taking our trailer out again and are going to the Lake this weekend on Friday. I almost had a heart attack when I noticed that the last Harry Potter book is coming out Saturday. I called up the local supermarket to make sure they would be selling it. LOLOL. And yes, they are.

I think that's it for now....

Tuesday Ten: Ten Things I would do if I won the lottery

2007-07-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

1. Move out of LA and buy a house/ranch somewhere else. Maybe Sedona...or the coast of Maine.

2. Not work anymore, do volunteer work. Something with kids.

3. Have a housecleaner that also does laundry. LOLOL. I hate doing laundry.

4. Buy a nice RV and go travel around.

5. Take my girls to Europe on the big tour.

6. Move my parents and Paul's parents over here so they can stop bitching, but not too close to us. No walking distance.lolol

7. Have horses, Paul loves to ride horses, and so do I ( just haven't done it in a while), and we would love to have some horses for the kids. They would be in heaven.

8. Make sure that each of the girlies have a nice college fund.

9. Buy a vacation home on Sylt (island in the North Sea off Germany)

10. Take a vacation without the kids in Bora Bora.

Five years ago today

2007-07-12T09:07:00.000-07:00

I was on the way to the hospital, and Mackie was born in the afternoon. I can't believe it has been this long. My baby is growing up fast. LOLOL.

I will always remember how scared we were because her official due date wasn't until Aug. 8, so she was pretty much a month early. But she was fine. She has been pretty amazing ever since. Potty trained herself at 2 because she didn't want to wear diapers anymore, and I had a hard time finding underwear for her because she was little. LOLOL. She also started talking much faster than the other 2, we had full on discussions with a 2 year old. At 3 years she called Sidney "pathetic" and used in the the right way too. LOLOL. She also can throw major tantrums, you can see the little lips quiver...watch out.

And she certainly knows how to deal with her sisters. She can hold her own and has no bproblem retaliating.

Happy Birthday Baby!!

Heat

2007-07-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

Growing up in Germany, I liked nothing better to go on vacation somewhere where the sun was shining all the time and it was hot. Now I hate. If I would pick a vacation now, it probably would be Alaska. LOLOL.

I can't stand the heat anymore. I think this year we had like 3 inches of rain. For the past weeks, it has been continuously over 100 degrees. Just going outside is miserable. As soon as it gets over 90, I don't like it. Unless I'm at a nice resort, by the pool, with a gorgeous guy serving drinks. LOLOL.

It makes the whole day hard, on the 4th of July we couldn't even eat outside because it was too hot. I took the kids to the park on Saturday, and we didn't stay too long because of the heat. Even though it was all in the shade. Even the poor dogs don't want to go outside. I really would love to have 4 seasons again. Darn, my kids get excited when it rains because it's so rare.

And a little snow for Christmas would be great too.

Tuesday Ten: Ten things that brighten my day

2007-07-03T08:52:00.001-07:00

1. Knowing I don't have to get up with the alarmclock and go to work. I like to just lounge around for a while and not have to deal with getting everybody ready.

2. No traffic. I hate sitting in traffic, so when I have a clear path I'm in a good mood already.

3. My "mom friends". Seriously, talking about the every day stuff makes the day a little easier.

4. Mackie: For being a little "mini adult" and such a little smartass.

5. Brenna: For being the most loving and not selfish kid I know. (Eventhough she can be a major PITA.LOL)

6. Sidney: For being a "mini-me." I can see a lot of myself in her. Good and bad. LOLOL.

7. My dogs. They are always happy to see me. :)

8. A good glass of wine. And I mean good... not the box kind. Some of my fav. right now are Meridian wines, Sonoma Cutrer (which I usually can't afford) and Turning Leaf.

9. Being able to sit outside in the morning before anybody is up. Now granted, that rarely happens, but it's so peaceful.

10. Good music. When I hear certain songs on the radio or CD I sing along (and not very good) and it puts me in a better mood.

Bad words

2007-07-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

Last night we are sitting in our lovely air conditioned house and watching Iceage 2, when I hear out of Brenna's mouth. "You are full of shit" No, not to me, but to her sister. Nice talk for my lovely angel. Well, they all know the consequences for cuss word, yep, she got soap in her mouth. I don't think she will be saying that word in a while. She was screaming her pretty head off.

I will let certain word slide....like stupid or "Sidney you are a ding-dong," but I draw the line at that one.

So hopefully she learned her lesson.

Tuesday Ten: Ten things about summer

2007-06-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

1. I don't have to get 3 girls ready for school....yeahhhhhhhhhhh

2. Remembering my summers as a kid. A lot of them were spent with my grandparent.

3. High electricity bills.LOL. We run the air almost 24/7.

4. I don't like summer very much in LA, it's too hot.

5. BBQing a lot, eventhough we basically BBQ all year round.

6. Letting the kids play in the water outside, they get such a kick out of it.

7. Drinking ice cold beer, nothing better in the summer.

8. Wearing flip flops every day. I'm lucky, I can even wear them to work.

9. Icecream, I love love love icecream any day of the year, but it's even better in the summer.

10. Not having to worry about homework and lunches.

Babies

2007-06-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

No, not the cute cuddly kind. MEN. I swear to god I've had it after this weekend. DH did something to his right ankle and it's all swollen and inflammed. He get's this like once a year. But you would think he just has been diagnosed with cancer. MAN, I'm still struggling with the nerve stuff in my left arm and I'm still going to Physical Therapy. But of course anything he has is ten times worse.

Throw the mood from hell on top of it and you got a great combination for a horrible weekend. ARGHHHHHHHHHH.............why are men such babies?

Kindy graduation

2007-06-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Brenna graduated from Kindergarten. Off to first grade. She is all excited. I really liked her teacher. He did a great job keeping her busy so she wouldn't get into too much trouble. LOL. Seeing her there yesterday, I remembered back when she was born. She was so tiny, and look at her now. Even my last baby is starting Kindergarten this fall.

Tuesday Ten: Ten Things I did today

2007-06-19T13:50:00.000-07:00

1. Got three girls ready in the morning.

2. Dressed Brenna for her Kindy graduation today, she wore the same dress that Sidney wore to her Kindy graduation 2 years ago. Mackie will wear it next year too.

3. Dropped Mackie off at the sitter.

4. Went to work.

5. Left at 10:15 to drive to Brenna's graduation.

6. Stopped at a flower shop and got her some roses and a grad ballon.

7. Attended the graduation and listen to them sing 3 or 4 songs. Too cute.

8. Took pictures that I can't download until tonite. :)

9. Gave both teachers a "Best Teacher Award" and a Barnes & Nobles GC.

10. Went back to work. (all this happened before 1 pm. LOL)

Father's day weekend

2007-06-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

It was a fun weekend. The kids made some really cute things for father's day in school. Brenna made something with her footprints and a saying how she is trying to step into his footsteps. Awwwww, it made me tear up. And Sidney also did some artwork and wrote about daddy. Mackie and Mommy got Daddy a tent. Yes, he wanted a tent. So he can take off on the weekends and go camping with the girls. Mommy doesn't do well in a tent, since it doesn't have air conditioning. LOLOL.

Sidney went to a pool birthday party on Saturday and she had a great time. One of the boys gave the birthday girl flowers, it was too cute. :) Afterwards we were going out for dinner but we got too lazy so we just BBQ'd some steaks and had them with corn and salad. Sunday morning I made a big breakfast. Actually it's more like brunch since we don't eat til about 10:30. I try to do it every Sunday so we can have one breakfast together as a family at least. This time I made fried garlic potatoes, bacon, maple sausages, chorizo and eggs.

Did I mention lately that I hate LA? It's way too hot again, it was close to 100 degrees this weekend and I can't stand it. I don't know what we would do without the A/C.

Tuesday Ten: Ten things that have made you the unique and quirky person you are today

2007-06-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

1. My parents, and unfortunately not in a good way for most of the things. Especially my mother. Her own insecurities got transferred onto me, and I'm the only child. You can figure out the rest.

2. My kids. In my twenties I didn't even know if I wanted kids. Now I have 3 girls. I also always was afraid of childbirth and dreaded pregnancy in my twenties. When I got pg for the first time I actually didn't mind it at all. Granted, I had 3 pretty good pregnancies and seeing your baby girl for the first time wipes anything else out.

3. My husband. In a good and bad way. We will be married ten years this year and I did figure out that you do have to compromise and that no marriage is perfect. While we do get into heated arguments since we both have a temper, I also know that I can always count on him no matter how much he complains. LOL. Especially in a crisis situation.

4. My move to America. This one is a biggie. I'm now speaking a different language than I did in my childhood. I spoke only german for 22 years. Now I think and dream in english.

5. Always working. From when I was 16 I always worked. Over here, I had my own apartment and supported myself way before marriage. While I would like to spent more time at home, I think it would be hard for me not to be working.

6. My grandparents. I have to say that they probably were the only people that loved me unconditionally. I really miss them and wish they could have met the girls.

7. Dealing with depression. Another biggie. It's hard to admit it, even harder to have to take medication every day. I think I finally came to terms with it eventhough I still haven't admitted it to my mom. She still believes that depressed people belong in a nut house. LOL.

8. Growing up an only child. I liked it for the most part, I always had lots of friends. But I hated having all the attention from my parents. LOLOL. I hate it to this day.

9. The computer. It's funny but true. It allows me to have friendship over the internet (which Paul still doesn't quite get.lol), and keep in touch with people in Germany. With some of the women here I have been emailing and talking for the past 8 years. That's a long time.

10. Not having any family around here. We basically adopted our sitters family. Her daughter and husband are the kids godparents and really love them like their own child. We have adjusted, but it's hard at times not to have anybody around. You get creative. LOL

Finally some pictures of the newly painted bedroom

2007-06-07T08:29:00.001-07:00

The room is painted in 3 different colors. Darkest one behind the bed, then a little darker for the ceiling and then lighter for the other walls. I also did the curtains. We had vertical blinds before and I hated them. I'm much happier with the curtains.

Weight

2007-06-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

ARghhhhh, I hate this topic. Seriously...until I was in my mid twenties I never even thought about my weight. When I got married at 30 I was a size 6 and thought I was too big. Yeah right....little did I know.

Got pregnant with Sidney and had her at 31 and still was able to bounce back pretty fast. No problem, then had Brenna at 33 and Mackie at 35. That's it. The end of a normal figure for me. My body was never the same, the two last ones were c-sections and it seems like I kept part of them in my midsection, there is a tummy I never had before. Where did that come from?

If I fit into a size 10 now I'm a happy camper, NOT FAIR. I want my body back, the one I had at 25. Ok, fine....so I am 40 now but still. My big problem is that I don't like to exercise. Taking the kids to soccer practice should count in my opinion. I really really need to start doing something before I won't be able to move anymore.

Of course lovely husband is not a big help, every time I vow to eat better or just have a salad for dinner, something comes up. Last night he didn't want to cook (he is the cook in the family) and ordered Pizza. Now living at my house you would know that it is indeed a rare occasion that happens maybe twice a year. We usually eat pretty healthy and don't do a lot of junk food. Soooooooooo, I had 3 slices of pizza last night. Not exactly diet food.

It's just a neverending circle that seems to creep up on me. I need to get a handle on it somehow.

Tuesday Ten: 10 things I whine about

2007-06-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

1. Money, money and money. Yes, it could be much worse, but it would be nice to NOT have to think about it EVER. To just be able to buy something without having to plan it.

2. My mother. Oh boy, this is a big one. I really really wish I had a normal mother.LOLOL

3. Whining......yes, this is a big one. " MOOOM, she is mean to me" "MOOM she got icecream and I didn't, it's not fair"

4. Siblings fighting. I'm so tired of living with 3 supposedly human girls who fight like animals.

5. My weight. Enough said.

6. Not having any free time. I'm usually never EVER alone in our house. Somebody is always there with me. Last Sunday DH took the girls on a walk and I had the house to myself for 2 hours. WEIRD!!

7. High gas prices. I love love love my Excursion, but I have to mortgage my house to fill up the tank.

8. Not winning the lottery. It would make my life so much easier.

9. DH...when I go to bed at night after work, dinner and homework and laundry, I'm tired and just want to read for half an hour. Me bending down is not considered foreplay and NO I don't want to have sex every day. REALLY.

10. Not having a second bathroom. With 3 girls, it's insane. We probably will add on, but at this point I'm seriously considering a chamber pot (is that the right name???LOLOL)

The weekend

2007-06-04T09:00:00.001-07:00

I took the girls to see Shrek 3 and I have to say that I liked it. So did the girls, eventhough Mackie fell asleep the last 15 minutes. LOL. The part I liked the most? Seeing the Princesses kick some butt. Seriously..........I like it because they were not the poor little girls having to be rescued by the big strong male. LOLOL.

We also finally caught the possum that was eating all the cat food at night. Paul sat a trap and he caught it Saturday night and then went with the girls on Sunday to release it in the mountains so he/she can live happily ever after in the forest. Of course Friday night Fiona (one of the cats) got caught in the trap and we had to free her in the morning. Stupid cat. LOL.

Also watched about 3 episodes of "Deadliest Catch", I'm hooked on it.

Favorite toy

2007-06-01T10:34:00.000-07:00

The favorite toy right now at my house? What would it be? The Gameboy? Or any other expensive crap? NOOOOOOO.....it's a plunger. Yes, you heard right, a bathroom plunger.

We just redid our bathroom and my kids have discovered the plunger. They fell in love with it I guess. They fight over who gets to play with it. I just don't get it. It's the most amazing thing. Who could have guessed?

Here they have a room full of TV and DVDs and Gameboy games and they play with a plunger. Whatever.......

When I was young

2007-05-31T09:23:00.001-07:00

This is a picture from my elementary school days. Oh my god, I was so young. LOLOL. I'm in the bottom row, second from the right.

What is really sad is that I can't even recall everybodys name anymore. I still can come up with probably half of the names. Makes you wonder where everybody is at this point. What happened to our dreams and hopes???

Tuesday Ten: Ten Books I read lately that I liked

2007-05-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

My long weekend

2007-05-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

I will kill them, yes I really contemplated it, but don't want to spent the rest of my life in jail. Kidding aside, here is what happened. They broke Brenna's bed, and for once Brenna was not involved. Mackie was the one jumping up and down on it, and it finally broke. After we told them for the millionth time....NO JUMPING ON THE BED.

The beds were not the sturdiest anyway, but still. I warned them before, so now the 2 younger ones only have one bed in their room, so they can either sleep together in one bed or one sleeps on the floor. I don't care.....I will let them sweat it out for at least a month before I even think of buying a new bed.

I swear...boys could not be worse.

Banging my head against the wall

2007-05-24T09:26:00.001-07:00

Brenna is really testing my patience. Ok, so I don't have any patience left. Sometimes I just don't know how to handle her anymore. She can be so stubborn. Like yesterday. I came home around 6:30, they were playing outside. Fine, asked them if they did their homework. Of course not....why would I expect that hubby actually would remind them? So Sidney sits down and does her homework. Brenna asks me to sit down with her and help her, which I don't mind. So we sit down and she has 3 pages to do for Kindergarten. One is basic subtraction. 3-1=? She tells me the right answer but then proceeds to just fool around on the paper, writes the number the wrong way, erases it, writes it again, erases it, so this goes on a few times. I remind her a couple of times " Brenna, you need to do it nicely, otherwise I will just take it away and you won't get credit for it."

Guess what....yep, I ended up taking it away and she went to school without homework today, which doesn't seem to bother her that much. She was upset last night, but man...........I just lost it, I'm pulling my hair out. Was I ever that stubborn? At that age? Not one of my prouder mommy moments I have to admit. Why can't I just be serene and calm and talk quietly to her? Yeah right.........................

Tuesday Ten: Ten Things I would never own

2007-05-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

Kind of late, but here it goes.

1. A Mini Cooper, yes the car, it's way too small. I would feel like I'm sitting in a tin can. LOL.

2. Long haired dog. I love dogs, but can't deal with the long hair everywhere, there is already enough dirt in my house, I don't need to add to it.

3. A Mini-Van. Sorry guys, I know a lot of people drive them and like them. I don't.

4. Designer Jeans, I can't see myself spending $500 on a pair of Jeans. One of our attorneys does that, of course she is not married and has no kids. LOL

5. A fur coat.

6. A corvette. For some reason I hate that car.

7. A really expensive cell phone. I just don't get it, I like my simple phone, I don't need all the extra gadgets.

8. A motorcycle. I'm deathly afraid of them. My husband likes them, but I won't even go on one, no thank you very much.

9. Fishnet stockings. Sorry, they just don't look good unless you want to achieve the stripper look.lolol

10. A movie by Tom Cruise. I hate that guy.

Confession time

2007-05-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I like to watch scary movies. Yes, the horror flicks. The gorier (is that a word?), the better. Call me a psycho or sicko.LOL. I will cry at Steel Magnolias or any normal movie where an animal dies, but give me a good horror flick and I don't mind having 20 people chopped into bits and pieces. Thankfully my lovely husband likes them too, so I don't have to be a closet watcher, and OH MY GOD, so does my oldest daughter and she is only 8. Yes, I let her watch certain movies. But I did draw the line at the SAW series. She didn't get to watch those.

Her favorite channel is SciFi, loves the show Ghost Hunters ( so do I by the way), and likes every movie where a huge animal eats humans. That's my girl.....lolol.

My fav. scary movies? They have to be with a good story line too. One that still freaks me out is "The Exorcist," then of course the SAW series, very sick.....I love it.

One movie that freaked me out was "The Ring, " maybe because it was about a little girl, and I have 3 girls. I usually don't get affected by scary movies at all, but that one did it to me. Oh and of course the old "Halloween" movies with Jamie Lee Curtis. Anybody remember that music. EERY.

So there.........my secret addiction is out.

Parents????

2007-05-18T09:23:00.001-07:00

Some things I really just don't get. Maybe I'm to old fashioned. LOL. This morning I dropped the kids off at school and here comes a boy, who is in Kindergarten, with a Mohawk hairdo, shaved sides, and the Mohawk is blue. And totally spiked up in the air. WHAT??????????

Is it just me? Now come on, you can not tell me that a 6 year old boy goes up to his parents and asks for that. It has to come from the parent. And then I'm thinking about all the work that goes into this hairdo every morning. I think he spends more time on his hair than I do, or actually his mom does. I'm surprised they even let him be in school like that, and that they don't make him go home and come back with a more normal hairdo.

I get the whole "Freedom of expression" thing, but really..................for a six year old?
So maybe I am old fashioned. I don't buy short shorts for my girls, or mini skirts, Brenna does wear a lot of skirts, but most of them are actually skorts. I also don't see the point of exposing your navel at 6 or 8 years old, so no little tops here either. Sorry, but it has to cover your tummy. LOL.

Bitchy

2007-05-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am in a bitchy mood today. I have a cold and can't breathe through my nose AND I'm at work. Why oh why can't they invent some wonder drug for the fricking common cold?

All I want to do is go home, curl up in bed and watch trash TV. I never thought I would actually like the series "Charmed". My girls like to watch it, and now I'm hooked. Go figure, 3 witches who kill demons. Well, I got 3 little witches at my house that can turn into demons very quickly.

As to the worst mother award of the year...yesterday was Brenna's field trip, and I had no clue 1) where she was going, 2) what it was. LOLOL. Lovely husband knew, so I figured that would be enough and they could call him if she got lost.

Tuesday Ten: Things in my shopping cart

2007-05-16T09:49:00.000-07:00

1. Diet Coke, I'm addicted, but at least I switched to the caffeine free one.

2. Carrots and Cucumbers: They make a great snack for the kids at school or at home.

3. Wine: For THOSE hard to take moments

4. Lettuce: We usually always have a salad with dinner.

5. Cereal and milk: A must have in my house.

6. Bread: It's usually wheat bread for the lunches.

7. Eggs: They make a quick dinner

8. Frozen brussel sprouts: Sidney's favorite vegetable.

9. Little water bottles and big water bottles.

10. Canned soups: Make a quick snack or dinner eventhough I don't like to do it too often because of the high sodium.

Experiment going on in the bathroom

2007-05-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

We will see for how long this will go on. Somebody left an empty small water bottle on the sink. It's been sitting there for 5 days. I refuse to throw it out. Actually this weekend I cleaned around it and it doesn't seem to bother anybody else. Any guesses on how long it'll be there?

Tuesday Ten:Ten Things I Think About While I'm Driving

2007-05-08T09:48:00.000-07:00

1. What did I forget to do? Inevitably I will think of some things that I forgot to take care of.

2. Why do these maniacs (that would be my girls) always have to start fighting and yelling while I'm talking on the phone?

3. Why do I have to sit in this grueling L.A. traffic every fricking day?

4. What would I do if I win the lottery? Dreaming about not sitting in traffic and having a huge piece of land somewhere on the coast with a beautiful house............

5. The gas prices went up again????????? It's killing me. Right now I pay $3.43.

6. Thinking about what to do first when I get home.

7. In the morning: Thank god they got to school on time without major fights or scars. LOL

8. Daydreaming, it's the only time I have by myself.

9. How different my life would have turned out if I had stayed in Germany.

10. What to do for vacation this year.

A good day

2007-05-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got a phone call from the school that Sidney was accepted in the Magnet program. Basically it's a Gifted/High Ability Program that takes place at the same school. They have one class set up for just that. Sidney is really excited too and we are very proud.

But.........

then she telling me last night that she hopes she can make it, how much harder it's going to be, how much more she has to work etc.

So I guess in the next couple of month we just need to concentrate on letting her know that she is smart, and that it will also be a lot of fun, since they get to do more. I really hope we can alleviate her fears and get her to enjoy it.

Tuesday Top Ten: Ten Things I Love About

2007-05-02T16:27:00.000-07:00

1. Sidney: She is a mini me and it amazes me everyday. She is very responsible for her age, I love her dark brown eyes and she is a drama queen.LOL

2. Brenna: Mini Paul, but he doesn't want to see it.LOL. If there is trouble, Brenna is usually in it, but she has the biggest heart and has the cutest angelic little face. Very stubborn.

3. Mackie: Mini adult. She talked in full sentences very early and has an amazing vocabulary for her age. She has the cutest mischievous grin, but she is also Miss Attitude.LOL

4. Internet: It enables me to actually have or keep up with friendships I couldn't otherwise. The mommy boards are a great help and outlet for mommy tantrums. LOLOL

5. My car: It's big, it's comfortable, and I feel very safe in it with the kids. (Yes I hate the gas prices though)

6. Our pets: They provide humor and joy every day and teach the kids a lot of things. We actually had Fred longer than Sidney. LOLOLOL

7. Our house: I'm very grateful to own our house, eventhough it's small, but we have a decent backyard which counts for a lot here in California.

8. My sitter: She is absolutely amazing and I have no idea what I would have done without her the last 8 years. She has a huge impact in raising our girls. And she is the one that will take all three of them gladly if we want to go away for a weekend.

9. My cell: Yes, it's horrible, but I don't know what I would do without it. LOLOL. It's my lifeline a lot of times, especially with scheduling the kids.

10. My husband: Yes, he has a temper and so do I and so do the kids. LOLOL, it makes for a loud household. But I love that he cooks very well, and I hardly ever have to cook. And we are not talking about canned stuff here. He makes roasts, stuffed peppers, marinated chicken, grape leaves and bakes from scratch. I hardly cook anymore.

The Future

2007-05-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

I'm getting to believe that my kids will either end up pg at 16 and living with their boyfriends, or gang up on us and hold us hostage in our own house, or be alcoholics or drug addicts.

I swear, I don't know how I will survive the teenage years when they are driving me crazy now, with fighting, clothes and attitudes.

Sidney will finish highschool and be a waitress because she doesn't want to go to college. Brenna will need to find a job where she can eat and play soccer. And Mackie has the right attitude for Hollywood. So there........all taken care of.

I will be happily drinking whatever I can find and ask my DR. for a lifelong supply of Xanax.

Yeahhh

2007-04-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

we finally bought a new bed and new mattresses. We got a mahogany sleigh bed and I love it. It'll be delivered on Friday. Now we "just" have to paint the room and get new carpet in by then. I'll be daring, Paul doesn't really care about the color, so I picked them out and will get them tonite. Here are the colors, top one will be one bedroom wall, second one the ceiling, bottom one the other walls. I'm tired of white walls and want some color, so we'll see how this comes out. I'm excited about it though.

My project

2007-04-24T09:34:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a needlepoint pillow. It's supposed to be a christmas gift for mother in law, or my mother. My plan is to make 2 and they each get one. Hopefully I can do it. You can't really see the colors that well on this picture, but it does look beautiful. Let's hope I have the patience to stick with it. To me it's actually relaxing, I do it at night or on the weekends when I watch TV, and usually Sidney will join me with one of her projects. She is crocheting a scarf and working on a little latch hook kit. I've tried the crocheting with Brenna but she doesn't have the patience yet. She'll do a few stitches before she runs off to do something else.

Hmmm...don't really know how to title this

2007-04-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

But let's start with that I have short hair now, yes, I cut it myself last night and it's not even, but it actually doesn't look too bad considering I was pissed when I did it.

I took yesterday off to particpate at our school's bookfair, so I was at the school all morning. And then they had open house from 6-7:30 at night. They were excited because they did a bunch of stuff in their classrooms. Anyway, I told Paul since I was working the bookfair from 6:30-7:30 I wanted to be there at 6 to talk to Sidney's and Brenna's teacher and look at their classrooms and also talk to a first grade teacher that I want for Brenna next year.

So my lovely husband is home on time, but is in a totally shitty mood, stuff happened at work, and he put in an application but heard that he won't be eligible until December. Soooooooo.....totally horrendous mood and just sits there, and tells everybody "I'm not going to the open house, I don't want to be around people." Fine, whatever, but I can't take 3 kids, I have to work the fricking bookfair, that was supposed to be your job. He still doesn't want to go, so of course Brenna and Mackie are upset because I had told Sidney earlier that she could help at the bookfair. So I'm pissed already.

Now it's 5:30 and he gets in his car and takes off. Hello!!! I need to leave at 5:45 to have enough time. Can't really take all 3 with me. 6 comes around, he is not back, so I start walking towards the school with all 3 of them. Halfway up we meet him, (Oh I didn't know you wanted to go this early), so Brenna and Mackie go back with him and Sidney and I go to the school.

It was really nice, the kids did a lot of cute stuff in the classrooms, I really enjoyed it. Of course halfway through the bookfair Paul shows up with Brenna and Mackie, stays for 10 minutes and leaves.

I get home with Sidney around 8 and he still in a horrible mood and we start arguing, I know, I should know better than start an argument when I know he is in a bad mood already. But of course I couldn't help myself. So things going back and forth,and I accuse him of being selfish and everything has to focus on him etc, luckily all the kids are in bed and don't get to witness the lovely exchange, and he tells me "You are 40 now, and still have long hair. What's up with that? Wanna be younger?"

I got so pissed, and he finally went in the trailer to sleep (good choice buddy) and I went to the bathroom with scissors. Yes, not my most mature decision, but damn it felt good.lololol

School pictures

2007-04-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

Sidney's and Brenna's school pictures came back, and I don't really like them that much, but they aren't too bad considering I totally forgot that they were taking pictures on that day. Oh well. On Friday Brenna got an achievement award for "most improved" which made me pretty happy, since she finally seems to get the concept of school, and doesn't treat it as a social event where she has to entertain everybody.

Sidney's project

2007-04-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

This is the result of planting cucumber seeds and yellow bean seeds. On the right are the beans and Sidney is totally excited that they are actually growing. The cucumbers are much smaller but they are moving along. She also had her first strawberry from her own plant. All three of the go out every day and check the progress and can't understand why we don't have cucumbers yet. LOL. Sidney also planted cabbage, but I really don't know how they are doing. Aren't they supposed to grow like a round head of cabbage? I have no clue, not an expert gardener here, so far they look like little bushes with just leaves on there. Then we also have Lemon Thyme and Basil. Let's hope everything survives.

Ten things I thought I would never do

2007-04-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

1. Have kids. Seriously...in my twenties I thought I would never kids. Look at me now.LOL

2. Say certain sentences like "Mackie don't eat the dog food, the dog is hungry" or "Brenna don't lick your sister"

3. Eat sushi. The thought of raw fish didn't appeal to me. Now I love love love it.

4. Live in America. When I was growing up I certainly didn't picture myself living here and raising a family here. If somebody would have told me that I would have declared them insane.

5. Being a soccer mom. In Germany my dad used to drag me to soccer games and I hated it, I thought it was the most boring thing. Now all 3 girls play soccer and I love watching them, so much that I actually signed up for assistant coach.

6. Give my kids cereal for dinner. LOLOL.

7. Be on antidepressants. This is a touchy subject for me and kind of hard to talk about, since I never thought I would have to deal with this. I should be able to just "snap" out of it, but that certainly doesn't work.

8. Learn a second language fluently (well, kind of). For the first 21 years I only spoke german, granted I had english in school, but I hate to admit it, I wasn't very good.LOL.

9. Be happy to live far away from my mother. Long story....most of you people know what I'm talking about.

10. Be married. Yes....I actually told everybody that I never wanted to get married. And then after I got married for the first time and got divorced after 3 years, I swore never to make that mistake again. yeah well..................

My arm, AGAIN

2007-04-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

I finally got the brace, and I'm supposed to wear it as much as possible which turns out to be really annoying, but I guess that's the point. Then I had a lovely nerve conduction test done yesterday. First they measured how my nerves in my left arm react to electro shocks. As if that wasn't bad enough then they switched to needles, not big ones, more like acupuncture, but the worst part was that she then had me move my arm/fingers while the needle was in there. Oh yeah, real pleasant. NOT. They think that it should go away with the brace and physical therarpy. I really really hope so, I would like to have the use of my whole left hand again. I kind of liked it. And I don't want surgery if I can avoid it. So let's hope for the best.

A mom story on the side.

I told my mom about my hand trouble a couple of weeks ago and then told her yesterday that we really didn't want to do much over Easter, we usually have people over and make a big dinner, but this year I don't feel up to it. I don't want to do all that cooking and cleaning only with one good hand. So it's just going to be the 5 of us and we'll make a nice brunch for ourselves.
So her response was " What's wrong with you hand? Did you injure it?"
my response "No, remember I told you my little finger is numb and I don't have much strength in my hand?"
"oh yes...you said something, I thought you injured it now."

And that was it, no -how is your arm doing? or -what does the Dr. say? What's the prognosis? NOTHING! So I didn't even tell her about the nerve test yesterday. What's the point?

Ten things I want to do this year.

2007-04-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

1. Take our trailer out for a nice weekend by ourselves. No kids, no dogs....nothing. Somewhere remote, where nobody is around. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, so it might be selfish, but hey.....

2. Take Brenna for a weekend to Palm Springs. After Sidney graduated from Kindergarten, we took her, now it's Brenna's turn. Just her....and we'll stay at a nice resort.

3. Get a new bedroom, including new color on the walls. I'm tired of my white walls, I want some color on it, preferably light purple. We'll see how Paul likes that. LOL. And we need a new bed and mattress, I'm looking for a sleigh bed I think.

4. Get my doors inside painted. They are primed already....but that's it.

5. Try to do a weekend away by myself or with a girlfriend. Haven't really done that, but it sounds really good.

6. Have christmas shopping done by December. Yeah right, who am I kidding???lol

7. Be able to get along with my parents while they are out here. My dad is retiring in August and now they are planning to come out for 2 month in November, and leave in January. They will stay in Motel or somewhere else but basically spent every waking moment at our house. I'm dreading it. It's really bad that you don't want your own parents to visit for that long. But unfortunately mom and me clash over so many different things.

8. Take the kids to the beach this summer, yes we live in L.A. but last year I think we went to the beach once.

9. I would love to start working out again, even if it's just walking. I'm so bad when it comes to that.

10. Take a nice vacation with the kids without the constant bickering and fighting.....yes, a woman can dream....

New haircut for Brenna

2007-04-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

I got my hair cut on Saturday, so I took Brenna with me. We were finally tired of the screaming matches every morning over brushing her hair. It was almost down to her butt. She was really well behaved at the hairdresser and hardly said a word. I was like

" Who are you, and what did you do with my daughter?"

But it's so much easier to handle now and she actually really likes it. Ialso should mention that we donated her hair to "Locks of Love" for cancer patients, since it was so long. She liked that too, and was proud of it.

About Sidney

2007-03-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

This is what I came home to last night. Sidney made this sign and put in on her door. Can you tell she is fed up with her sisters? At least we are still on her good side for now. She is such a little drama queen.

Ten Things I'd like to do if I had more time

2007-03-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

Thanks Cat for the list idea.

1. More time alone at my house. I swear, whenever I'm at home, I'm never alone, somebody is always there. I want some peace and quiet.

2. More knitting, crocheting or needlepoint. I love to do these things and I still get some of it done at night watching TV, but I'm ususally to tired. And therefore any project will take me 5 years.

3. My looks, I'd love to leave the house with a styled hairdo and great makeup. Yeah right.......

4. Cook more. Paul is the cook in ther family. I actually cook pretty well too but never get to do it since he is home before me, and on the weekend we BBQ a lot.

5. Read more....yes I already read a lot, but since I love reading so much I would like to have some uninterrupted time, like 2 hours sitting outside in the sun.

6. Spent more time with each child. We do try to make a conscious effort of giving them each time with mom and dad, but I would like to see more of that.

7. I used to do watercolor paintings. I haven't done it in years and would love to pick it up again but I fear if I leave it in the living room one of my highly creative artists will finish it for me.

8. Be even more involved in their school. I did join the PTA, but I would like to have more time to actually spent at school with them.

9. Exercise. OK, let's not kid ourselves. I don't exercise, but I really need to start but never seem to find the time. Yes, I know it's a lame excuse.

10. More gardening, I actually like being outside and planting things and seeing them grow.

A rant and a brag

2007-03-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

The rant goes first. We know a couple that have a 3 year old son, they came over this weekend and were all proud that he is pretty much potty trained. Well that's great, except for the fact that he still gets a bottle with formula every night. Supposedly the reasoning behind it is that he doesn't eat right. He only eats french fries, cracker etc. Talk about wrong nutrition here. I told her that at my house the bottle would disappear and I'm sure he wouldn't starve to death, at one point he would be eating what's put in front of him, because I don't think he would starve himself.

Now to the brag part, my kids eat really well, actually to the point that we have to look out that we get some salad at the dinner table, even if I make a huge bowl. They would eat the whole thing. Sidney also doesn't like to eat at school, so most of the time she takes her lunch because she doesn't like pizza her hamburger. Yes, I agree, it's pretty strange for an 8 year old.

Easter picture

2007-03-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

Trying to get an Easter picture of 3 girls is madness. OK, so it isn't centered, but it was the best one. Every time I was trying to take a picture somebody was pouting, closing their eyes or doing something stupid. At least the dog looks right in the camera. LOL.

The arm saga continues

2007-03-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

I finally get the brace in the mail that I ordered. I'm supposed to wear it all the time. It's too big eventhough we went by measurements and it doesn't look like the right one anyway. It is so frustrating. I'm going to call the Dr. and tell them that I can't find the right one and that she needs to figure out where I can get it. I give up.........

Revelation?

2007-03-16T09:13:00.000-07:00

Driving to work this morning I realised (once again) that since I had kids my appearance suffers. Since I have to get 3 girls ready in the morning, I'm lucky if I get any make up on, forget about styling my hair. Ponytails for me most of the time. How sad is that? Yes, yes, yes, I could get up earlier to look oh so beautiful but frankly I'm not a morning person and like my bed. LOL. Before kids I styled my hair every morning. Now people are surprised to see me with my hair down. Since I have pretty thick wavy hair, I do have to styly it somehow, otherwise it looks frizzy. But hey.......my girls' hair looks great!!!

This wasn't too bad

2007-03-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

I'm proud of myself, I survived this morning, the usual morning routine with the girls, without yelling at them or threatening them with bodily harm. It's really hard not to be loud or yell, just because between the 3 of them it's loud enough and it feels like it have to be louder. But this morning actually went pretty OK. Brenna and Mackie got a pony tail and I made Sidney a half pony tail, and she gives me this attituded " I HATE HALF PONYTAILS, I JUST WANTED A PONYTAIL. " So I told her that she needs to lose the attitude, go get a ponytail holder and ask very nicely if I can redo her hair. She did...LOL. But man, if this is any indication about the teenage years, I don't want to deal with it.

Mackie is in the lovely tantrum phase and I hate it. The other night she spent about 15 minutes in her room crying and throwing a tantrum because I put them to bed. Poor Brenna had to listen to her since they share a room. I just ignored it, which is not an easy task. GRhhh.

What I'm reading right now: I just finished "Step on a Crack" the new one by James Patterson, I liked it. http://www.amazon.com/Step-Crack-James-Patterson/dp/0316013943/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-1184248-8151124?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173975912&sr=1-1

I've had it

2007-03-14T09:08:00.000-07:00

I went to the Neurologist yesterday because I still have problems with my left arm/hand, no control over my little finger, it feels like it's asleep, and the hand is tingling and hurting sometimes.
Ever heard of Cubital Tunnel Syndrome? Me neither..........
Now I have to do a Nerve conduction test which involves electro shocks, nice. And hopefully start physical therapy because she told me that I already lost muscle mass in my hand. Great.....I feel like a real cripple now. I also have to wear a special brace for my elbow, because that's where the nerve is. Had to order it and of course it's not covered by insurance, it's $60. It's really annoying not to have full strength in my left hand, I guess I should be grateful that it's not my right hand.

Oh yeah , and if all this doesn't work I still might need surgery. Wahhhhh, I'm thoroughly depressed now.

Gardening

2007-03-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

Sidney helped our neighbor plant flowers on Saturday and then asked me if she could get something to plant too. So I took her Sunday ( during 96 degree weather), and we got pots and soil, and she picked strawberries, and cabbage. Cabbage??? I have a strange girl? lol

We also decided to start her science project then and got a little greenhouse, and planted seeds for cucumbers, beans, carrots and basil. She'll photograph it every week and document which one grows the fastest and the biggest. Hopefully it'll be successful and we can actually plant them later on outside. At least a few of them.

Long time

2007-03-12T11:05:00.000-07:00

I didn't update this in a long time, I really need to try to be better about this. Anyway...last Thursday we went to Disneyland, it was fine, but I get upset every time because Paul gets to go on all the "good" rides with Sidney, and I get to do "It's a small world" with the other two. Yes, it's a petty complaint, but what the hell?

The younger two don't like fast rides and just want to meet the princesses. The good thing was that it was a Thursday and we hardly had any lines, so no long wait times. I hate waiting in line.

Brenna is 6 now

2006-11-09T16:39:00.000-08:00

My 2nd one just turned 6. She is my princess with the iron will. Stubborn, but very lovable at the same time. Loves to play soccer, does OK in school as long as she is being challenged.

We finally switched them to public school and I have to say that so far I like it, and both kids don't seem to mind too much, which was my biggest concern. They are very excited about being able to eat lunch cafeteria style. And it's only $1, which excites me to no end, since at the private school we paid something like $3.50 for a lunch.

Today Sidney got her first spelling test back in the new school and she got 95%, now if she can keep up like that she could get into the Magnet Program, which would be wonderful. Keeping my fingers crossed.

School again

2006-10-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

There is a continuos fight with Brenna in the morning to get up and then get dressed and go to school. Once she is in the car, she is fine, and she is fine at school, but boy to get her to that point. It's draining. I threatened to take her to school in her pj's, but it's still a hassle. She really is the stubborn one.

Sidney is doing fine in school, no problems. And they are all enjoying soccer immensely this season, especially Sidney. After last season, where she had no fun at all with a coach who only wanted to win, this time she is really getting into it, and actually scored 2 goals last game, so they tied 2:2. She was so proud.

Soccer

2006-09-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

Yes, soccer season is finally here. All 3 girls are playing and it's stressful.LOL. Last Saturday Mackie's game was at 8:30, Sidney's at 10:30 and Brenna's at 12:30.

Mackie's first game ever went really well, eventhough we had to reming which direction to kick ball. But they are so adorable at that age, trying to kick the ball into the goal.

Sidney is enjoying soccer again, now that she has a coach that actually views soccer as a team sport. She didn't like soccer last year because her coach then just wanted to win, and just pushed the "star" girls. So Sidney lost complete interest. This year her coach is great, and Sidney played a great game, being very involved in the game and almost scoring a goal.

Brenna...scored 3 goals in her first game and doesn't seem to get tired at all, even in 95 degree heat. She just loves to play. She actually got into it with another girl on her team. Both of them were standing in the middle of the field, yelling at each other because they were trying to take the ball away from each other, and yes they were on the same team.LOLOL. The coach had to try to point that out to them.

School starts

2006-08-29T09:51:00.000-07:00

And Brenna is starting Kindergarten tomorrow, she is sooooo excited. Her back pack is all packed, of course it's a Cinderella one and she has her big sister instructed that she needs to show her around.

So for now they are staying in private school, and we'll see how we do money wise. We'll give it a year and see if we have to survive on Top Ramen or not. If it doesn't work out, they'll have to go to public school. Which is fine, just this area is part of LA Unified which doesn't have a good reputation. Maybe if it comes to that I'll have to see if I can sign them up in my sitter's district and use her address. It's Glendale and they have their own separate school district.

Mother/Dauther relationship

2006-08-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

I have a really hard time in the relationship with my mother. I'm the only child. So unfortunately everything concentrates on me. It's really sad that I don't have a mother that supports me and is there for me. Oh yes, if I would ever get really sick or something like that, she would come and help out, but most of it would be about her.

Nothing is ever good enough and then she complains why I don't confide in her or why I'm not the loving and adoring daughter. Go figure....!

Whenever they come here to visit, it usually ends up in a disaster for whatever reason. She has offended Paul and me so many times that we can't remember all of it. They always want to stay with us, which is hard in itself since our house is small (1200 sqf) and only one bathroom. So they have to sleep on the futon, which would be OK if they would try to fit in and be somewhat respectful. But noooooo...when things don't go my mothers way you will know...she will sit there with this sour puss face on her and when you ask what's wrong it's "Nothing". ARghhhhhhh

It's really hard not to feel comfortable in your own house, especially with your own parents, but that's the way it is. If we don't pay enough attention to her, we get the silent treatment. YIkes....I can't take it anymore. She is also very nosey and has no problem going through our things. Another thing that drives me crazy, not that I have so much to hide. But please, I'm almost 40, do you think you can treat me like an adult and give me some privacy?

Not even talking about the hurtful things that come out of her mouth. OH well, that's a story for another day.

I sincerely hope that I will have a better relationship with my girls.

Getting ready for school

2006-08-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

School starts Aug. 30. And now we got the back packs. Brenna got a Cinderalla one with her name on it and a matching lunchbox, Sidney picked a bigger one. It's burgundy with a shark on it. No girly stuff for her.

They are also starting soccer practice this week. Brenna's is Wednesdays 4:30-5:00 with her coach from last year and Sidney's is Thursdays from 4:30-6:00. Mackie doesn't have regular practice yet, they will have the games on Saturdays and practice right before the games. I truly hope there won't be too many scheduling conflicts on Saturdays since we have all 3 girls playing and on different fields too. Paul will be referreeing most of Sidney's games, so I have to try to juggle the other 2 or we will have to call in back up in form of the godparents.

Melting away

2006-07-18T15:19:00.000-07:00

I think we are slowly melting away here. It's been excruciatingly hot here for the past weeks and there is no end in sight. Our air is running all the time at home, we do put it up during the day so we don't get killed by the electricity bill. The kids can't go outside because it's even too hot for that. It makes you sluggish and irritable. I'm even thinking of canceling our Yosemite trip because we would be in tents, and honestly, I can't imagine being in a tent in this heat. I would just be miserable.

Turning 4

2006-07-13T12:05:00.000-07:00

So Mackie is 4 now. She was soooooo excited yesterday. In the morning we just gave her a small present, 2 movies. Mary Poppins and Alice in Wonderland. Then she went to the sitter, where she got new shoes, and they baked a strawberry cake. Mackie got to help and decorate the cake, they then went to the park and ate the cake. I picked them up and Paul had put together her big present. A princess stroller, with carseat, doll, diaper bag, carrying bag and snugli. She loved it, and of course didn't want to share with her sisters.

After she went to bed, I went and checked on her and she had her new shoes on, and the carseat with the baby right next to her, and the stroller in front of her bed. It was too cute. Also, Sidney made a 4 out of legos for her b-day which was really cute. Her big party is on Saturday though.

Miss Mackie turns 4 tomorrow

2006-07-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

I can't believe my baby will be 4 tomorrow. She is definetely her own little person and amazes me every day. She's got this cute little smile with her dimples that just gets me every time. I call her my little mini adult, because she has such a big vocabulary and has these full on discussions with you where you forget that she is barely 4. But there are the tantrums too.LOL. She is very good at those and can definetely hold her own with her sisters. Her and Brenna are two peas in a pod, there are great friends, share a room and fight..LOL.

I love you my special little girl.

Picture this

2006-07-10T10:39:00.000-07:00

I'm making scrambled eggs for the girls in the kitchen in a big skillet, the eggs are still runny. Sidney and Brenna are in the kitchen fighting...Sidney shoves Brenna ( I think) , Brenna takes off her flip flop and throws it at Sidney....Sidney jumps out of the way and....YES................the Flip Flop lands right in the skillet in the scrambled eggs. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh......................

I did have to punish her, but it took a lot not to laugh out loud. Priceless!

Not so little anymore

2006-06-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

Last night I watched Sidney sleep and it hit me.....I actually looked at her and could imagine what she would look like as an adult. Oh god........it's hitting me. She looked so beautiful with her long hair and long legs. My little girl is not so little anymore. I really wish I could work part time and move somewhere to the country where they could have more fun and grow up more like I did. Run outside, play with friends, ride their bikes...just enjoy their summer. I had a great time doing all these things, lazy days of summer.

Some of my best memories are spending summer vacations with my grandparents. I would get all the food I like, get to be outside a lot, Opa took me rollerskating and bikeriding, feed the ducks, to the playground. It was great. Oma would cook for me and teach me how to crochet and knit. Ahhhhhhhhh the good old times..............

????

2006-06-20T08:41:00.000-07:00

I wasn't feeling great yesterday, nauseous, dizzy, stomach crampy, so I left work early and just went home and slept, and had DH pick up the brats. But you know the funny thing? Every one of my friends that has kids asked me if I was pg...LOLOL. Hell no....3 is enough, thank you very much. The ones without kids just didn't mention it.

Also...Brenna is wearing her dress that I bought this weekend the 2nd day in a row. Whatever, I didn't have the energy this morning to fight over it, and Mina doesn't care. It's kind of dirty on the front. So does that make me a bad mommy? Letting my poor child walk around in dirty clothes? I'm sure my mother would say so.

2006-06-15T09:48:00.000-07:00

Mackie cracks me up sometimes. Yesterday she told Brenna "Sorry just doesn't cut it anymore"...LOLOLOL. Brenna's response was "yes, it does........sometimes when you are real sorry"

Oh man, I can't wait until they are teenagers. I will have grey hair by then.

Sidney's last day of school

2006-06-13T12:14:00.000-07:00

It was Sidney's last day of school today, so I went for the last day mass and the award ceremonies ( I got one too....), so the teacher ask if they are going on vacation and where. So Sidney tells her....we are going to the desert..somewhere hot. The teacher says "Palm Springs?" Sidney goes "No, I think it's Death Row".... The teacher was cracking up and asked "Do you mean Death Valley?" " Oh yeah....that's what it is..."Oh god...........

Overall her report card was good, mostly O's and G's, but she needs to improve her spelling and we definetely need to practice reading over the summer.

Toothfairy

2006-06-12T08:52:00.000-07:00

Brenna lost her first tooth on Friday. Woohoooooo. She was all proud and the tooth fairy brought her $3. It was lose for the longest time and she was afraid to pull it out. But it finally happend Friday evening.

2006-06-08T09:49:00.000-07:00

Today I signed Mackie up for preschool. I can't believe my baby is ready for preschool. I remember the first day I took Sidney to preschool, Mackie was just 2 months old. Time certainly flies. Brenna will start Kindergarten in August, thank God. I truley hope that it'll help her behaviour in some way. She is just no listening. I'm tired of yelling and punishing. I don't like to yell, but sometimes it's really hard.

Mackie and Brenna fight all the time. They are so close that they get into it all the time, they also play together a lot, which is nice, but the fighting gets to me. Especially in the car when I can't get away from it.

2006-06-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

Only one week of school left for Sidney. She can't wait to be on vacation, and it shows. She is 7.5 going on 15. I don't know how I will deal with them when they are all teenagers. I truly hope that they will have some sense left and not get completely out of control.

Mackie had such a bad meltdown yesterday. Something about her baby, she couldn't find it, or Brenna had it....who knows, but man......was she screaming. I was ready to lock her in the garage.LOL. I really try hard not to yell but sometimes I just can't help it. I need more patience. I admire people who never lose their temper. I wish I could be more like that.