Friday, February 01, 2008

odds and ends

I really don't know who to vote for this year and it's bugging me. I'm a registered republican but don't really like an of the candidates. After hearing Obama on illegal immigrants, I can't vote for him either living here in southern California since it's a huge problem here. And I simply cannot stand Hillary. So there........I'm stuck.

I finished the new Stephen King book "Duma Key" and have to say I actually liked it. It's been a hit and miss with his books lately, some I didn't like at all, but this one was good.

We are still dealing with homework problems with Brenna, she just has better things to do than actually do her homework. Oh god give me patience....RIGHT NOW!!!!

Monday, January 21, 2008

The aftermath

after my birthday that is. This had to be one of the shittiest birthdays in history. I actually left Friday early to go to a Dr.'s appt., which of coures ran late. Then I was on my way to Barnes & Nobles to spent my birthday gift certificate when I got into an accident. It's just my bumper and right light, but god what an inconvenience. Fine, went and got my books and went home.

Next day (my actual birthday) I'm cooking dinner when a pipe burst under the kitchen sink. It was 7:30 pm, of course we had to call a plummer and it took til almost 9 to get it fixed, and $200. Whatever......

The Sunday was somewhat better since we went to a really nice champagne brunch, crab legs, mussels, salmon, primerib....the works......ahhhhhhhh....much better.

Now back to " I really need to lose weight since my fat clothes are getting tight".

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Random thoughts

Ok, it's time, I've had it with my weight. Once again....


I'm uncomfortable and even my fat clothes are getting tight. I've known for quite a while, but was in denial. LOL. Food just tastes too good, especially all the bad stuff. So now I'm back again to cutting out carbs and basically just eating meat, eggs, veggies and salad. AND I really need to start some stomach exercises. My 41 birthday is coming up on Saturday and let's just face it, 3 kids later my stomach is definately visible.LOLOL. The c-sections certainly didn't help either. I need to dig out my Pilates tapes that actually target the stomach.


What else? Sidney started her music lessons at school, so every Thursday we are dealing with this:


It's bigger than she is, and luckily I have a big car to haul this around in. It's quite interesting. The other day she was practicing and of course hubby had to try it. OMG...the noise these two could produce on this thing. It's painful. LOLOL.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Ten Things Worth Every Penny

1. My microwave. What would I do without it. About a month ago our microwave died. So I went for a couple of days without one. Oh the horror. It was a whole new experience for the kids that you can actually heat food up on the stove.

2. My Ugg boots. Ok, it's selfish, but they are oh so comfy.

3. Books, any book....I love books. LOL

4. My MAC lipstick. It actually stays on for hours even through eating and drinking.

5. Britax carseats. Yes, they are expensive, but so worth it. Mackie is still in a 5 point harness that goes up to 80 lbs.

6. My cell phone. What did I ever do without it???? LOLOL

7. My kids. They are really expensive, but how can I put a price on such lovely chaos?

8. The internet.

9. My new bed. It's so nice to finally sleep on a good nice mattress.

10. "Absolut Peach"

Thursday, January 10, 2008

My love affair with food

Along the lines of new years resolutions.
I really don't want to make any, but I wish I could control my weight. It seems that I just can't seem to get the hang of it. I either eat too much, or I'm on a diet. Why is this so difficult? One thing is that I really really like food. LOL. So why can't they come up with icecream or other goodies that that don't have any calories. And yes, I know, I'm an emotional eater. Other people can't eat when they have problems....I eat MORE. I wish I would lose my appetite every once in a while, but it's rare. I need to snap out of it. The other hated word is "exercise". I know I should be doing something, I just can't get motivated. Even just walking would be good.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Thursday Ten...Things I don't like about christmas/December

1. Sidney was born on the 23rd of December, it really kind of sucks to have her birthday that close to christmas. She is always already on vacation. By the way....she was due January 14.LOL

2. School, teacher gifts.

3. School, christmas plays and songs during the day. Have they ever heard of working parents?

4. I'm getting tired already of christmas music.

5. Everybody seems to be in a bad mood, it must be a holiday thing.

6. I'm not even close to have my christmas shopping done.

7. Christmas is way to commercialized for my taste.

8. Whatever happened to Peace on Earth?????

9. I gain weight. I just can't help it.

10. I can't get into the christmas spirit at all this year.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

ME

Yes, this one is all about me for a change. Well, maybe not all of it. LOL. I'm really glad that this week I actually seem to be getting back to normal. Meaning, it seems my brain is functioning again. Last week was absolutely horrible. I had a lovely panic attack last Tuesday morning and didn't even make it to work. I just felt so bad about myself, as a mother, wife, worker...just in general. It didn't help that there was a change at work for me. So I basically only made it through the week on meds. I hate doing that, I actually despise it, but I really didn't want to be sitting at work and hyperventilating. I went to see my doctor on Friday morning (yes, a psych doctor) and I didn't get new meds, but just a new perspective I guess.

So last weekend was actually pretty nice, we had really nothing going on and I got to catch up on laundry and housework, hang out with the girls in front of the TV to watch a bunch of episodes of the witches ("Charmed") which they love. And I have to admit I like it too. I got to crochet a bit, and actually said NO to people coming over on Saturday. Woohoo.

This week seems much better, I have a much better outlook so far (keep your fingers crossed), I'm actually wearing heels, a skirt and make up today. Also the change at work seems to be turning out for the better, I get to leave at 5 right on the dot, and I'm home by 5:30. Love it. I really need to remind myself to not want to take on the world. I can't do everything, even if I try. I should not feel guilty about wanting an hour to myself to read in peace in quiet or watch a TV show without being interrupted 10 million times.

And I don't feel bad that I actually gave the kids cans of Ravioli for dinner instead of a healthy homecooked meal. (OK, that doesn't really happen too much)

My wish for christmas is to get a good attitude towards my surroundings and my family and to be able to get a couple of hours of "ME" time.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Tuesday Ten: What I am thankful for.

1. My kids. They brighten my life (usually....lolol)

2. My husband. Yes, eventhough he can be a mayor PITA, I know he'll be there for me and the kids when I need him.

3. Having finally the guts to tell my mother off. (It didn't get anywhere like usual, because she denies everything, but at least I got it out.)

4. My house. Eventhough it's small, it's ours.

5. Being able to not have to worry about where my next meal is coming from.

6. Online friends. It's a great outlet and has saved me many times.

7. Having 4 days off, being able to cook thanksgiving dinner and enjoy it for the next few days.

8. My physical therapist. My left hand function is pretty much back to normal.

9. A glass of good wine. It just makes an evening so much more relaxing.

10. Our health. Yes, we all have stuff going on. (I swear the day I turned 40 my body decided to fall apart and work against me) But overall we don't have anything seriously wrong with any of us.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Soccer is done

whewww, soccer season is over for us. I'm kind of happy and sad at the same time. Sidney had a play off game on Saturday but they lost, so they are out. They were really unlucky, it wasn't that the other team was so much better, they were just luckier. I felt bad for our team because they deserved to win. So we even had a few tears shed after game.

Brenna had her last game Saturday and I was really disappointed with her coach this year. Coaches make such a difference. She had a great coach the first 2 years and was rated as one of the best players in her age group, but I don't think that will happen this year. She was very unmotivated and her coach didn't really connect with her. I truly hope she'll get a better coach next year.

Mackie had a great season. I'm sure she will get a high rating. She was really good. I guess having to deal with 2 older sisters really helps. LOLOL. I really liked her coach. And I felt so bad for the family. His wife got diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks into the season. But she was such a trooper, she showed up for most of the games and was always cheery. She even crochet a scarf for me because I refereed a lot of their games and made their hair bands. What a spirit.

Now I actually get my Saturdays back.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Balance

(Thanks Cat)

This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. Balance in my life. I don't believe I have any. Actually it depends what balance means. My work is fine, I get my kids to school, manage to get them fed, do the homework with them, manage to get them to 3 different soccer games on the weekend, and to remember all the other odds and ends a mom has to remember during the week.

So what am I thinking about? ME. Where does it leave time for me? And yes, it is very easily said that you need to make time for yourself. I just don't seem to be doing a good job with that. I do manage to read for enjoyment almost every day. Usually it's at night right before I go to sleep. Can I blame this one on my mother too? Eventhough I hate to blame her for everything, I do think she is partly to blame. I guess if I had enough self confidence, I would make time for myself? Heck, I don't know. I try to be wonderwoman, but it is not working. Geee...what a surprise.

OK, back to my regular scheduled life. The "poor me" whine is over.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Happy 7th Birthday Brenna!!


Seven years ago today, I should have known that we were in for a wild ride. I was told by my doctor that the baby had turned around and was now feet down. He also told us that it rarely happened at 37 weeks, but oh well....Brenna did it. LOL.
So we went from a normal birth routine to a "go to the hospital right now" birth via c-section. I have to say that I was stunned, because I did not expect that.
Brenna was born around 8:30 pm, screaming loudly, weighing in at 7 lbs 10 oz eventhough she was 3 weeks early.
It has certainly been a challenging route. She is definately the one that challenges us the most at this point. I truly believe that the traits the drive us crazy right now, will serve her well later on in life.
I truly hope she'll find her niche in life and also remembers that her mom and dad love her very much.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!!!!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Halloween





So we survived Halloween. The kids had great time. And of course we have way too much candy. But I honestly have to say that I had more fun with Halloween when they were really little. The toddlers are just too cute all dressed up. It's so much fun to watch them.


Look at how cute they were. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Tuesday Ten: My own this time

Ten reasons why I'm thinking of cutting my parents out of our lives.

1. Mom tried to ruin my wedding day. Up to the last minute we didn't know if my parents were showing up or not. The night before I was told what a big mistake I was making and they probably wouldn't come to the wedding. I had booked an appt. for her with me and my bridesmaids to get our hair and make up done. She didn't show up for that. They finally showed up right on time for pictures. My opinion? They just wanted pictures to show everybody in Germany.

2. It was a nightmare when Sidney was born. She came out, supposedly to help out. Oh my god, in the hospital she threw a fit because she didn't get to hold the baby first. When I got home with Sidney, all she did was badmouth Paul, didn't help me one bit. I almost had a nervous breakdown, and Paul finally threw her out. So she decided to leave in the middle of the night and didn't want to take a taxi, wouldn't have Paul drive her to the airport, so I had to drive her to the airport, 5 days after giving birth, and listening to her all the way to the airport what a slave I am to my husband, and she had no clue how I ended up being this person that mistreated her.

3. Before my grandfather died I flew to Germany to see him one last time. I was really close with my grandparents and knew this would be the last time for me to see him alive. The day before I was flying back I asked my mom to go with my to say good bye to my grandfather. I knew it would be one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. Her response? "No, you have to go alone, I can't deal with that drama."

4. She has told me that the only reason that my grandmother was nice to me was to get back at her because supposedly grandma hated mom so much that she used me to get back at my mother. Whatever.....

5. She continuously twists things around and never takes responsibility for anything.

6. I was told that my kids are brats and we are bad parents.

7. When I was in the hospital 2 weeks ago, they didn't find it necessary to call me. I had my cell phone with me the whole time, nothing. When I got back home I got the "oh so concerned mother speech"

8. When I was pregnant with Mackenzie I told her what name we decided on. She told me she would be too embarrassed to tell anybody that she had a new granddaughter named Mackenzie, since it was such an awful name. So she decided not to tell anybody.

9. The whole time they were here she didn't cook once. Paul and I cooked dinner most of the time. Would it have killed her???????

10. I being told all the time:" When I get old, I don't want to go into home, before I do that I will kill myself with tablets, you have to take care of me."

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Ten things I would like to get rid of

1. My parents. Seriously...they are going back to Germany on Monday. It can't be soon enough. I'm a nervous wreck and need to get back to normal.

2. My washer and dryer. I really really really want new ones. But we just got a new TV, so I guess I'll have to wait a little.

3. whining....I CAN'T TAKE IT.

4. Root beer. Can't take even the smell of it.

5. some pounds. Yes, I 've gained weight again, but man, with my parents here I had to do something fun.LOL

6. my old towels.

7. Mackie's bed, she needs a new bed.

8. my clothes from like 10 years ago. Why do I still have them?

9. stuff under the kids' bed. SCARY

10. Paul's car, I hate that thing, it's a 2000 Dodge Ram.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Is this it?

Do you ever wonder if this will be your life? .....forever?...........

Is it a strange thought? At this point I'm just continuously on the go, working, scheduling by boss and my family, keeping up with homework and birthday parties, doing laundry and trying to keep the house semi clean. Will it ever be different? I know people keep telling me to enjoy this time while the kids are young, but frankly, I'm not really enjoying it. I enjoy going to soccer games with them, I enjoy snuggling with them and looking at them when they are asleep, but I don't enjoy the mess, the arguing and the homework. I guess it comes witht the territory and the things we enjoy or dislike will just change from period to period.

I wish.................

I could have enough money to buy a ranch somewhere in Montana and enjoy life completely and fully.
I find myself never having enough time to do the things that would be joyful. I seem to run out of time. Oh well............

Friday, September 28, 2007

Friday before the storm

and no, not the weather kind. My parents are coming into town on Monday. It'll be a very trying period for me. Eventhough I'm 40 years old, it seems like I revert back to the little girl. That's the way she treats me too. Pretty unrespectful and only her opinion counts. It's very hard to maintain a positive attitude around her, but I will try my best.

Three soccer games again tomorrow. Sidney at 8:30, Brenna at 9:30 and Mackie at 2:30. After that I really really have to clean the house. I've been working so much lately that it resembles a pig sty. Not even talking about the millions of loads of laundry I have to do, including sheets and blankets.

Oh yeah, we also found 3 kittens that we have to bottle feed because mom abandoned them. Like we don't have enough animals in the house. LOL

Ilka

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I'm BAAAAACKKK!

Soccer season is back. Here is one of the first pictures with most of Sidney's team and Mackie in the picture.



It's been a while, but my life has been really hectic. I had to get used to a really really busy job which I like, but it took some getting used to.
The girls are doing great. School is back on and Sidney started the Magnet program. If Brenna could only remember to actually bring her homework home we'd be rocking. These are the pictures from the first day of school.





Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Ramblings

Busy busy busy

that about sums it up for me right now. New job....which is real busy and and soccer season starting. And being on a diet, which makes me cranky anyway because I love to eat. Not a good combo. LOLOL.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Tidbits

First the big one: I got a new job, and I start July 30. The commute will be so much easier, no freeway for me anymore, no more downtown...YEAHHHH.

Mackie's party was nice and she had a good time. She got lots of Barbie stuff, one of the things came with a dog that you can feed, and then it poops too. No kidding..LOLOL. It also comes with a pooper scooper Barbie style. The things they come up with now. She requested a chocolate cake ( I have to post a picture later), and it was yummy, it had dark chocolate shavings all over the cake, and a sign made out of white chocolate which said "Happy 5th Birthday Mackie." We saved the sign in the fridge and Mackie got to eat it yesterday. OMG, you should have seen Sidney. She started crying that she didn't get any chocolate. I couldn't believe it. She is 8 years old and acted like a 2 year old. I hate these little dramas. Poor neglected child. LOLOL

Soccer season is about to start again and I signed up to be assistant coach for Sidney's team. Yes, just another thing because I have too much time on my hands. Now I have to attend 3 classes to be able to tell 8 and 9 year olds how to kick a ball.

Let the fun start again with 3 soccer games every Saturday, on 3 different fields, 3 different times. LOLOL. They all have so much fun playing soccer and they are all pretty good at it, but Brenna is extremely good, especially for her age. She basically scored every game, most of them multiple times. She just doesn't get tired and has no problem to take the ball away from somebody else. I guess that's the benefit of the middle child. LOL. She just has more drive than Sidney and Mackie. I hope she can keep it up and sticks with it. At the coaches meeting, the coaches for this year were fighting over who would get her on the team. (Proud mommy here...blush) But we are sticking with her old coach, she's been with him for the past 2 years and he really knows her well and knows how to get her going and have her listen to him. In addition we will have 3 practices during the week, and obviously I have to be at Sidney's practices, I just hope they start around 6, so I won't have a problem getting there on time.

We are finally taking our trailer out again and are going to the Lake this weekend on Friday. I almost had a heart attack when I noticed that the last Harry Potter book is coming out Saturday. I called up the local supermarket to make sure they would be selling it. LOLOL. And yes, they are.

I think that's it for now....