Ten things I thought I would never do

1. Have kids. Seriously...in my twenties I thought I would never kids. Look at me now.LOL

2. Say certain sentences like "Mackie don't eat the dog food, the dog is hungry" or "Brenna don't lick your sister"

3. Eat sushi. The thought of raw fish didn't appeal to me. Now I love love love it.

4. Live in America. When I was growing up I certainly didn't picture myself living here and raising a family here. If somebody would have told me that I would have declared them insane.

5. Being a soccer mom. In Germany my dad used to drag me to soccer games and I hated it, I thought it was the most boring thing. Now all 3 girls play soccer and I love watching them, so much that I actually signed up for assistant coach.

6. Give my kids cereal for dinner. LOLOL.

7. Be on antidepressants. This is a touchy subject for me and kind of hard to talk about, since I never thought I would have to deal with this. I should be able to just "snap" out of it, but that certainly doesn't work.

8. Learn a second language fluently (well, kind of). For the first 21 years I only spoke german, granted I had english in school, but I hate to admit it, I wasn't very good.LOL.

9. Be happy to live far away from my mother. Long story....most of you people know what I'm talking about.

10. Be married. Yes....I actually told everybody that I never wanted to get married. And then after I got married for the first time and got divorced after 3 years, I swore never to make that mistake again. yeah well..................

My arm, AGAIN

I finally got the brace, and I'm supposed to wear it as much as possible which turns out to be really annoying, but I guess that's the point. Then I had a lovely nerve conduction test done yesterday. First they measured how my nerves in my left arm react to electro shocks. As if that wasn't bad enough then they switched to needles, not big ones, more like acupuncture, but the worst part was that she then had me move my arm/fingers while the needle was in there. Oh yeah, real pleasant. NOT. They think that it should go away with the brace and physical therarpy. I really really hope so, I would like to have the use of my whole left hand again. I kind of liked it. And I don't want surgery if I can avoid it. So let's hope for the best.

A mom story on the side.

I told my mom about my hand trouble a couple of weeks ago and then told her yesterday that we really didn't want to do much over Easter, we usually have people over and make a big dinner, but this year I don't feel up to it. I don't want to do all that cooking and cleaning only with one good hand. So it's just going to be the 5 of us and we'll make a nice brunch for ourselves.
So her response was " What's wrong with you hand? Did you injure it?"
my response "No, remember I told you my little finger is numb and I don't have much strength in my hand?"
"oh yes...you said something, I thought you injured it now."

And that was it, no -how is your arm doing? or -what does the Dr. say? What's the prognosis? NOTHING! So I didn't even tell her about the nerve test yesterday. What's the point?

Ten things I want to do this year.

1. Take our trailer out for a nice weekend by ourselves. No kids, no dogs....nothing. Somewhere remote, where nobody is around. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, so it might be selfish, but hey.....

2. Take Brenna for a weekend to Palm Springs. After Sidney graduated from Kindergarten, we took her, now it's Brenna's turn. Just her....and we'll stay at a nice resort.

3. Get a new bedroom, including new color on the walls. I'm tired of my white walls, I want some color on it, preferably light purple. We'll see how Paul likes that. LOL. And we need a new bed and mattress, I'm looking for a sleigh bed I think.

4. Get my doors inside painted. They are primed already....but that's it.

5. Try to do a weekend away by myself or with a girlfriend. Haven't really done that, but it sounds really good.

6. Have christmas shopping done by December. Yeah right, who am I kidding???lol

7. Be able to get along with my parents while they are out here. My dad is retiring in August and now they are planning to come out for 2 month in November, and leave in January. They will stay in Motel or somewhere else but basically spent every waking moment at our house. I'm dreading it. It's really bad that you don't want your own parents to visit for that long. But unfortunately mom and me clash over so many different things.

8. Take the kids to the beach this summer, yes we live in L.A. but last year I think we went to the beach once.

9. I would love to start working out again, even if it's just walking. I'm so bad when it comes to that.

10. Take a nice vacation with the kids without the constant bickering and fighting.....yes, a woman can dream....

New haircut for Brenna

I got my hair cut on Saturday, so I took Brenna with me. We were finally tired of the screaming matches every morning over brushing her hair. It was almost down to her butt. She was really well behaved at the hairdresser and hardly said a word. I was like



" Who are you, and what did you do with my daughter?"



But it's so much easier to handle now and she actually really likes it. Ialso should mention that we donated her hair to "Locks of Love" for cancer patients, since it was so long. She liked that too, and was proud of it.

About Sidney

This is what I came home to last night. Sidney made this sign and put in on her door. Can you tell she is fed up with her sisters? At least we are still on her good side for now. She is such a little drama queen.

Ten Things I'd like to do if I had more time

Thanks Cat for the list idea.

1. More time alone at my house. I swear, whenever I'm at home, I'm never alone, somebody is always there. I want some peace and quiet.

2. More knitting, crocheting or needlepoint. I love to do these things and I still get some of it done at night watching TV, but I'm ususally to tired. And therefore any project will take me 5 years.

3. My looks, I'd love to leave the house with a styled hairdo and great makeup. Yeah right.......

4. Cook more. Paul is the cook in ther family. I actually cook pretty well too but never get to do it since he is home before me, and on the weekend we BBQ a lot.

5. Read more....yes I already read a lot, but since I love reading so much I would like to have some uninterrupted time, like 2 hours sitting outside in the sun.

6. Spent more time with each child. We do try to make a conscious effort of giving them each time with mom and dad, but I would like to see more of that.

7. I used to do watercolor paintings. I haven't done it in years and would love to pick it up again but I fear if I leave it in the living room one of my highly creative artists will finish it for me.

8. Be even more involved in their school. I did join the PTA, but I would like to have more time to actually spent at school with them.

9. Exercise. OK, let's not kid ourselves. I don't exercise, but I really need to start but never seem to find the time. Yes, I know it's a lame excuse.

10. More gardening, I actually like being outside and planting things and seeing them grow.

A rant and a brag

The rant goes first. We know a couple that have a 3 year old son, they came over this weekend and were all proud that he is pretty much potty trained. Well that's great, except for the fact that he still gets a bottle with formula every night. Supposedly the reasoning behind it is that he doesn't eat right. He only eats french fries, cracker etc. Talk about wrong nutrition here. I told her that at my house the bottle would disappear and I'm sure he wouldn't starve to death, at one point he would be eating what's put in front of him, because I don't think he would starve himself.

Now to the brag part, my kids eat really well, actually to the point that we have to look out that we get some salad at the dinner table, even if I make a huge bowl. They would eat the whole thing. Sidney also doesn't like to eat at school, so most of the time she takes her lunch because she doesn't like pizza her hamburger. Yes, I agree, it's pretty strange for an 8 year old.

Easter picture

Trying to get an Easter picture of 3 girls is madness. OK, so it isn't centered, but it was the best one. Every time I was trying to take a picture somebody was pouting, closing their eyes or doing something stupid. At least the dog looks right in the camera. LOL.

The arm saga continues

I finally get the brace in the mail that I ordered. I'm supposed to wear it all the time. It's too big eventhough we went by measurements and it doesn't look like the right one anyway. It is so frustrating. I'm going to call the Dr. and tell them that I can't find the right one and that she needs to figure out where I can get it. I give up.........

Revelation?

Driving to work this morning I realised (once again) that since I had kids my appearance suffers. Since I have to get 3 girls ready in the morning, I'm lucky if I get any make up on, forget about styling my hair. Ponytails for me most of the time. How sad is that? Yes, yes, yes, I could get up earlier to look oh so beautiful but frankly I'm not a morning person and like my bed. LOL. Before kids I styled my hair every morning. Now people are surprised to see me with my hair down. Since I have pretty thick wavy hair, I do have to styly it somehow, otherwise it looks frizzy. But hey.......my girls' hair looks great!!!

This wasn't too bad

I'm proud of myself, I survived this morning, the usual morning routine with the girls, without yelling at them or threatening them with bodily harm. It's really hard not to be loud or yell, just because between the 3 of them it's loud enough and it feels like it have to be louder. But this morning actually went pretty OK. Brenna and Mackie got a pony tail and I made Sidney a half pony tail, and she gives me this attituded " I HATE HALF PONYTAILS, I JUST WANTED A PONYTAIL. " So I told her that she needs to lose the attitude, go get a ponytail holder and ask very nicely if I can redo her hair. She did...LOL. But man, if this is any indication about the teenage years, I don't want to deal with it.

Mackie is in the lovely tantrum phase and I hate it. The other night she spent about 15 minutes in her room crying and throwing a tantrum because I put them to bed. Poor Brenna had to listen to her since they share a room. I just ignored it, which is not an easy task. GRhhh.


What I'm reading right now: I just finished "Step on a Crack" the new one by James Patterson, I liked it. http://www.amazon.com/Step-Crack-James-Patterson/dp/0316013943/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-1184248-8151124?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173975912&sr=1-1

I've had it

I went to the Neurologist yesterday because I still have problems with my left arm/hand, no control over my little finger, it feels like it's asleep, and the hand is tingling and hurting sometimes.
Ever heard of Cubital Tunnel Syndrome? Me neither..........
Now I have to do a Nerve conduction test which involves electro shocks, nice. And hopefully start physical therapy because she told me that I already lost muscle mass in my hand. Great.....I feel like a real cripple now. I also have to wear a special brace for my elbow, because that's where the nerve is. Had to order it and of course it's not covered by insurance, it's $60. It's really annoying not to have full strength in my left hand, I guess I should be grateful that it's not my right hand.

Oh yeah , and if all this doesn't work I still might need surgery. Wahhhhh, I'm thoroughly depressed now.

Gardening

Sidney helped our neighbor plant flowers on Saturday and then asked me if she could get something to plant too. So I took her Sunday ( during 96 degree weather), and we got pots and soil, and she picked strawberries, and cabbage. Cabbage??? I have a strange girl? lol

We also decided to start her science project then and got a little greenhouse, and planted seeds for cucumbers, beans, carrots and basil. She'll photograph it every week and document which one grows the fastest and the biggest. Hopefully it'll be successful and we can actually plant them later on outside. At least a few of them.

Long time

I didn't update this in a long time, I really need to try to be better about this. Anyway...last Thursday we went to Disneyland, it was fine, but I get upset every time because Paul gets to go on all the "good" rides with Sidney, and I get to do "It's a small world" with the other two. Yes, it's a petty complaint, but what the hell?

The younger two don't like fast rides and just want to meet the princesses. The good thing was that it was a Thursday and we hardly had any lines, so no long wait times. I hate waiting in line.

Brenna is 6 now

My 2nd one just turned 6. She is my princess with the iron will. Stubborn, but very lovable at the same time. Loves to play soccer, does OK in school as long as she is being challenged.

We finally switched them to public school and I have to say that so far I like it, and both kids don't seem to mind too much, which was my biggest concern. They are very excited about being able to eat lunch cafeteria style. And it's only $1, which excites me to no end, since at the private school we paid something like $3.50 for a lunch.

Today Sidney got her first spelling test back in the new school and she got 95%, now if she can keep up like that she could get into the Magnet Program, which would be wonderful. Keeping my fingers crossed.

School again

There is a continuos fight with Brenna in the morning to get up and then get dressed and go to school. Once she is in the car, she is fine, and she is fine at school, but boy to get her to that point. It's draining. I threatened to take her to school in her pj's, but it's still a hassle. She really is the stubborn one.

Sidney is doing fine in school, no problems. And they are all enjoying soccer immensely this season, especially Sidney. After last season, where she had no fun at all with a coach who only wanted to win, this time she is really getting into it, and actually scored 2 goals last game, so they tied 2:2. She was so proud.

Soccer

Yes, soccer season is finally here. All 3 girls are playing and it's stressful.LOL. Last Saturday Mackie's game was at 8:30, Sidney's at 10:30 and Brenna's at 12:30.

Mackie's first game ever went really well, eventhough we had to reming which direction to kick ball. But they are so adorable at that age, trying to kick the ball into the goal.


Sidney is enjoying soccer again, now that she has a coach that actually views soccer as a team sport. She didn't like soccer last year because her coach then just wanted to win, and just pushed the "star" girls. So Sidney lost complete interest. This year her coach is great, and Sidney played a great game, being very involved in the game and almost scoring a goal.


Brenna...scored 3 goals in her first game and doesn't seem to get tired at all, even in 95 degree heat. She just loves to play. She actually got into it with another girl on her team. Both of them were standing in the middle of the field, yelling at each other because they were trying to take the ball away from each other, and yes they were on the same team.LOLOL. The coach had to try to point that out to them.

School starts

And Brenna is starting Kindergarten tomorrow, she is sooooo excited. Her back pack is all packed, of course it's a Cinderella one and she has her big sister instructed that she needs to show her around.

So for now they are staying in private school, and we'll see how we do money wise. We'll give it a year and see if we have to survive on Top Ramen or not. If it doesn't work out, they'll have to go to public school. Which is fine, just this area is part of LA Unified which doesn't have a good reputation. Maybe if it comes to that I'll have to see if I can sign them up in my sitter's district and use her address. It's Glendale and they have their own separate school district.

Mother/Dauther relationship

I have a really hard time in the relationship with my mother. I'm the only child. So unfortunately everything concentrates on me. It's really sad that I don't have a mother that supports me and is there for me. Oh yes, if I would ever get really sick or something like that, she would come and help out, but most of it would be about her.

Nothing is ever good enough and then she complains why I don't confide in her or why I'm not the loving and adoring daughter. Go figure....!

Whenever they come here to visit, it usually ends up in a disaster for whatever reason. She has offended Paul and me so many times that we can't remember all of it. They always want to stay with us, which is hard in itself since our house is small (1200 sqf) and only one bathroom. So they have to sleep on the futon, which would be OK if they would try to fit in and be somewhat respectful. But noooooo...when things don't go my mothers way you will know...she will sit there with this sour puss face on her and when you ask what's wrong it's "Nothing". ARghhhhhhh

It's really hard not to feel comfortable in your own house, especially with your own parents, but that's the way it is. If we don't pay enough attention to her, we get the silent treatment. YIkes....I can't take it anymore. She is also very nosey and has no problem going through our things. Another thing that drives me crazy, not that I have so much to hide. But please, I'm almost 40, do you think you can treat me like an adult and give me some privacy?

Not even talking about the hurtful things that come out of her mouth. OH well, that's a story for another day.

I sincerely hope that I will have a better relationship with my girls.

Getting ready for school

School starts Aug. 30. And now we got the back packs. Brenna got a Cinderalla one with her name on it and a matching lunchbox, Sidney picked a bigger one. It's burgundy with a shark on it. No girly stuff for her.

They are also starting soccer practice this week. Brenna's is Wednesdays 4:30-5:00 with her coach from last year and Sidney's is Thursdays from 4:30-6:00. Mackie doesn't have regular practice yet, they will have the games on Saturdays and practice right before the games. I truly hope there won't be too many scheduling conflicts on Saturdays since we have all 3 girls playing and on different fields too. Paul will be referreeing most of Sidney's games, so I have to try to juggle the other 2 or we will have to call in back up in form of the godparents.